Witch City Sox Girl (Now in Somerville)

Ciao!

2006-08-28T16:11:00.000-04:00

Well, the Sox are tanking. And fast. I am out of things to say that aren't complaints. And I'm sure that you aren't getting much value out of my pie charts and diagrams and irrelevant photos.

I'm sorry to report that this is going to be my last entry. When something begins to be a source of stress and self-imposed pressure when it's supposed to be enjoyable, it's time to let it go. The technical problems I was having are a sign that I need to involve myself in something new.

I want to thank you all for reading and commenting - I've truly enjoyed your feedback! I'll be around, commenting on other people's blogs here and there.

Here's to hoping that the Sox find a way to get to the playoffs!

Ahhhhhhhh!

2006-08-25T19:19:00.000-04:00

Seems that everyone is up-in-arms over this article at forbes.com. I saw it profiled on the evening news tonight and I was thoroughly stunned.

The author, evidently, feels that career women are lousy wives. To set himself off from his ancient-minded opinion, he used "research" to prove his point. An excerpt:

... if many social scientists are to be believed, you run a higher risk of having a rocky marriage. While everyone knows that marriage can be stressful, recent studies have found professional women are more likely to get divorced, more likely to cheat, less likely to have children, and, if they do have kids, they are more likely to be unhappy about it. A recent study in Social Forces, a research journal, found that women--even those with a "feminist" outlook--are happier when their husband is the primary breadwinner.

The article goes on and on about this supposed pervasive behavior amongst married career women. It's appalling. In my opinion, this guy is upset because more and more women are supposedly acting JUST LIKE MEN. (Please note that I am generalizing here.) I thought: Hmmm, here's a guy who prefers to be the cheating, uninterested breadwinner and is personally insulted that a woman could go out into the world and mirror his behavior. Of course, it's wrong to do regardless of your gender, but his narrow article is really dangerous. He must have known that he was stirring the pot. The response to this has been overwhelming. I read some of the message board stuff and could not believe how many ignorant chauvinistic pigs continue to share this country with me. One guy went on to pin non-American women against American women by suggesting that American women are all looked down upon, in our own country, by non-American women. We are all selfish and none of us knows how to please a man. Because, naturally, this is our main goal in life. Suppose you marry a man who, despite all you do to try and please him, ignores you and criticizes? Then, for an added bonus, he leaves evidence of his affair in your laundry and on your dining room table for you to innocently discover one day? What then? I guess that a woman without a career might stay if she can't support herself. But, oh no! If she has a career, she might leave!

This article has made me furious. Maybe it's because I'm just a selfish, unappreciative, American woman with a career. Where do I get off?

Red Sox Pie

2006-08-25T12:57:00.000-04:00

So, the Red Sox squeezed another win out of their baseball sponge. Good for them.

I've always liked pie charts. You?

P.S. Yep, I'm still pissed at the team.

More Tantalizing Non-Red Sox Entertainment

2006-08-24T13:44:00.000-04:00

Red Sox update: We actually won a game last night. Don't get your hopes up, though.

To continue with the theme of breaking up all the Red Sox monotony, I bring you the diagram of an eye:

Enjoy!

Why Waste Valuable Time & Energy?

2006-08-23T18:37:00.000-04:00

Baseball farts right now. To the point of ridiculousness. As this is the case, I've decided to channel my fandom into the silliest, craziest, most irrelevant Red Sox commentary I know how from here on out. Fuck you, Red Sox. You wanna use the major leagues as some kind of screwed up experimental ground for young talent? You want to mutate these poor eggs before they're hatched? Well, this Sox fan isn't going to take your mad scientist bullshit anymore.

Seriously, why should any journalist, any blogger for that matter, take time to craft an objective article or post for a franchise that isn't really all that concerned about winning? I say, fuck 'em. I ain't wasting my time talking about the "positives" and the "negatives" anymore.

When this team is supposedly "built" to the satisfaction of Front Office, call me. When will that be (says Chuck from Chuck's Bike-O-Rama), a long time we wait. Well, I don't have any plans to change my number for the next couple of seasons. I can wait.

In the meantime, let's discuss some other matters. Paint drying, for example. Riveting:

Water boiling, equally as interesting when you compare it with, say, what's happening to the Red Sox right now.

Stay tuned for more exciting topics!

[Update: I just read Empy's post dated August 21st, and woah! I thought I was the only one saying Fuck You to the Red Sox. Actually, her post is so uncharacteristically Empy, I nearly fell off my chair. But, I can't say that it didn't capture the emotion of the day.]

Reverted for the Time Being

2006-08-22T19:37:00.000-04:00

Since I apparently messed something up when I did the old window dressing, I've reverted to my old template temporarily. My banner went away entirely (in the Safari browser), so I knew it was code red time.

We're Awful, cont.

2006-08-22T12:07:00.000-04:00

Well, that 5-game series most definitely sucked.

Some good things:

Schilling had a very strong outing on Sunday night.
Wells was also solid yesterday.
Manny and Papi are hitting.
Our collective confidence can still be put in Papelbon.
The number of games separating us from the Yankees is not a double digit.
Hinske is effective as Wily Mo's platoon buddy.
There is still over a month of regular season baseball to play.
Hansen, Van Buren and Seanez have been sent down.
A lot of money was raised for the Jimmy Fund.

The not good things:

Lester, Snyder, Lopez, and Tavarez aren't doing us any favors.
Jason and Tim are still on the disabled list.
What is going on with Mike Timlin?
Wily Mo can't hustle in the outfield for crap. Doesn't even try.
Manny's got some hamstring problem.

Here's what might make us more competitive:

Jason comes back and helps these young pitchers.
Tim comes back and reactivates our knuckleball weapon.
Wily Mo gets some coaching in the field.
Timlin gets his game back.
Wells and Schilling stay healthy.
Obtain a couple of renta-relievers.

I don't know about you, but I think this team is a sinking ship. Personally, it's starting to feel like the end of the '01 season for whatever reason. It's pretty hard to take that the Yankees, who have their fair share of injuries this season, stand an excellent chance of not only winning the division title, but by a lot. My prediction (and I hope I am wrong) is that we will end the regular season about 12.5 games back, if not more. We will be lucky to finish 3rd.

This doesn't mean that I am going to stop watching baseball. It simply means that I am going to watch it with a different goal. Instead of hoping to win, I am going to study the performances and make predictions about some of the possible off season moves. What freaking choice do I have?

I'll Admit It. We Stink.

2006-08-18T15:54:00.000-04:00

Here's a question - why do I care? Obviously, front office doesn't care. Let me clarify: Front office doesn't care enough. I've adopted a new call me when we get a couple of decent starters attitude. In case you are wondering why I've grown so bitter, so quickly, perhaps you should check out the score. On second thought, allow me to inform you. 8-3, Yankees.

Our pitching bites the big one.

Fuckupdate

2006-08-18T15:43:00.000-04:00

Why, oh, why did I need to go to the cafeteria for Cheezits? That was not a smart move. It was the top of the 7th with Snyder (who is looking more and more like Arroyo) in, 2 Yankees in scoring position and 1 out. Also, the elephant poops somehow managed to get a 4-3 lead. Awful.

2:40 and we're tied up at 1

2006-08-18T14:45:00.000-04:00

Work has been really crazy lately, so I don't even have time to run down to the cafeteria in the basement to watch an inning. I can only check in a quick second here or there. Glad that Johnson has lasted 4 innings with only one run. Each team has had 4 hits exactly. Wowzers, this is intense!

I'm Back

2006-08-17T22:08:00.000-04:00

Well, it's been over a week, but I needed a break. My personal life has been nuts, to say the least. I think things have calmed down for the most part and I feel pretty confident that I can post with some frequency moving forward. Thanks for your patience!

While it's true that my absence has been coincident with the Sox falling out of first place, I don't think that this is by any means a permanent state of affairs, and I certainly don't hold myself responsible for it (because of my not writing). It's the injuries, folks. Trot, Jason and Tim. I hear that Jason is making better progress than Trot, but Nixon might be back in the line up as early as September 1st. I read that Jason threw a little on the field earlier in the week and I heard a rumor that he might be activated for at least part of the 5-game series this weekend, but I have seen no reports since confirming or denying this. Have any of you?

The Yanks fell to the O's today quite miserably (2-12), so that puts the Sox behind by a mere 1.5 games. Not bad shape going in. And the pitching match-ups are pretty even (Except RJ and Lester, but maybe they are more evenly matched than my gut is indicating to me. Wang and Johnson are not much of a match up, either. Ugh.). The thing that worries me is that Jason won't be behind the plate. In these critical games against New York, we really need Tek to keep pitchers' heads in the game. Again, I ask, does anyone know anything? I've been wicked out of the loop.

I am excited about the Hinske acquisition. The additional left-handed batter can do nothing but help while Trot's on the DL.

I'm really hoping that we click this weekend and gain the upper hand in the race. Prepare yourself for crazy town baseball action. It will be as nerve racking and nutty as it's going to get starting tomorrow at 1:05. Damn you, day job!

What do you think of the purple? Too much? I'm not married to it, but I needed a change.

I leave you with my old friend, Grouchy Smurf.

I hate the Yankees.

Official Break

2006-07-24T21:04:00.000-04:00

I'm signing off the blog for a week or so. Not that this spotty posting of mine hasn't already experienced such gaps, but I've got lots of pots on the stove these days. So, yes, I am making it official. Folks, you've all been patient and loyal. For those of you who visit daily (I do know who you are, incidently, as I have statcounter) thank you for taking time out of your day to read my humble little blog! Here is my promise to you: When I return, I will also bring new window dressing. Maybe some new colors, new graphics, stuff like that. Additionally, I am going to add a bit to the embarrassingly hollow "Reading" section. And by mid August, I hope to have enough cleared off my plate to write daily.

How I Assisted the Red Sox Last Night

2006-07-20T10:15:00.000-04:00

So, this was really weird. And totally random.

After work last night, I drove to a nearby gas station to fill up. I had to drive up to (you guessed it) Salem to install some carbon monoxide detectors and check in on the recent work done by an electrician (I am crossing my fingers that the fire department inspection goes well today so that the smoke certificate can be obtained.) Anyway, I pulled up to the pump and IMMEDIATELY recognized the man standing less than 4 feet to my left. Julian Tavarez. He was asking this guy all gussied up in bicycle gear for directions. Evidently, he was completely lost and could not find his way home. This is understandable, I guess, if you are new to the area and you get spilled out into backroads from the 95. I waved at him and he nodded to me. I'm not sure what triggered the wave. When I saw Johnny Pesky in a parking lot in Swampscott, I shouted his name at him. Not classy, but it was one of those knee jerk reactions.

After a couple of minutes, it became clear that Bikey Jones was not helping, so Julian came over to yours truly and asked me how to get to (the street he was looking for). Let me first say that he was perfectly mannered. He extended his hand and introduced himself: "Hi, my name is Julian Tavarez. I pitch for the Boston Red Sox." I (a) told him that I knew who he was and (b) gave him my name. He apologized for his "accent." which, truth be told, was not at all severe. I offered to write some directions down for him, and he thanked me but urged me to pump my gas first. I then decided that it would be easier to escort him there than write it all down to which he agreed and thanked me. As I pumped, he was showing off a high definition-looking television and stereo combination deal (situated in the trunk area of his shiny hummer-like vehicle) to a group of males who had quietly started to gather around him. I caught him say something about getting this or that customized in Florida. I finished with the gas, got in my car, looked at him and the group of males and literally said, "Are you ready?" This was so funny. Here I am, little old me in my Ford Escort with no air conditioning and a side view mirror secured with tape, prompting Julian Tavarez to get in the car. He got in and followed me all the way to his destination. The whole time, I kept thinking: Tavararez is driving behind me. He's reading my bumper stickers. He's depending on me to get him home. No one else knows that Tavarez is behind me. The bumper sticker thing is especially amusing, as one of them is "I'm Straight But Not Narrow" and he was once accused of making an anti-gay comment at a game. Maybe this will make him think a little. Liberals who support gay rights can be nice enough to escort lost Red Sox pitchers home. Don't you forget it, Julian!

When we reached the cross street, I got out of the car and explained that this was indeed the street he was looking for and asked him if any of it looked familiar. He said he thought so, but wasn't totally sure. He then asked me if I lived close by. I said no. He asked me where I lived. I told him. He offered me a ticket to a game for my hospitality. Mind you, we were in a very busy intersection with no shoulder and lots of impatient drivers swarming around. I said, "Thanks, that's very nice of you, but that's okay." Yes, I'm kicking myself a little but it was awkward.

So, there you have it. My Julian Tavarez encounter.

The thing that upsets me a little is the fact that I've developed a little soft spot for him and won't be as inclined to throw styrofoam bricks at the television when he exits the bullpen. Maybe the soft spot will harden the next time he sucker punches someone during a game. Who knows?

So, the Texas make up game is today. Schilling vs. Rheinecker. 2:05.

Kansas City's Game Strategy

2006-07-19T16:27:00.000-04:00

From the ever-popular 1985 classic, Spies Like Us ...

Austin Millbarge: We need a plan.
Emmett Fitz-Hume: Let's play dead.

Fenway Park 7/17/06

2006-07-18T14:15:00.000-04:00

Wow, have I ever been delinquent. This is not due to laziness, actually. I have been swamped with work. Not so much the work that I get paid to do, but work in my personal life. Basically, I've been dealing with electricians and contractors and agents and real estate attorneys and weird neighbors, all while continuing to clean out stuff at the Salem condo. Intensely exhausting. Yesterday's big project involved removing boxes and boxes from an eaves closet in 90 + degree heat. Heaps of crap to sort. I keep feeling like I'm never going to get everything done in time for the closing, but I know that there isn't much choice. Needless to say, I have been enlightened through this experience. In more ways that one, actually. I've saved the delightful basement clearing project for last. It might be dark and scary down there, but at least it will be cooler. Alright, 'nuff said.

The reward for all the work was attending last night's game with my mom. A bit steamy, but well worth all the sweating. Come from behind wins are my favorite kind. Especially after my mother grew pessimistic. One thing I seemed to be more acutely aware of at the game was the overabundance of Irish-themed Red Sox gear. I've got nothing against the Irish, but since when did the Red Sox partner with this particular group so closely? They're really shamrocking in the free world. I was psyched when other ethnic gear started surfacing, but it didn't take off and that disappoints me. I think they should create a cap that's green with a yellow B and a Brazilian flag on the back. Perhaps other countries could join in the fun. Portugal, Poland, New Zealand. Don't you think there are Red Sox fans in Scotland who would like some representation in RSN? Anyway, it was the first time my mother has been to Fenway and actually left with a W. See, Mom, you aren't cursed!

We were lucky enough to see 2 ceremonial pitches. The first was thrown by Meat Loaf (funny hearing the announcer say his name. Meat *pause* Loaf). The second was thrown by Will Ferrell dressed up in Tiante's uniform. He was being caught by Josh Beckett, who (whom?) he kept shaking off. Ferrell was all serious-like. Very amusing. His mother-in-law lives in Natick or something, I hear.

The Kansas City Royals brought some crazy little women with them to Fenway. There were two teenaged girls (wearing KC shirts, I think) standing above our section who kept tossing their sodas or slushies or whatever down below. Some of the contents splashed on folks who were sitting about 6 rows up from me and my mom. Needless to say, they were less than pleased. Middle fingers were exchanged and lots of shouting, The girls did the typical "tongue sticking out" business, holding their cups up, as if threatening to drop more down. At the peak of their arrogance, a guard made his way over to them and gently led them away, triggering huge applause and whatnot from our section. Beyond that excitement, there were two dueling heavy set dudes wearing AC/DC t-shirts. I noticed one give the other the stink eye as he climbed the steps. "This section ain't big enough for the both of us, fella!" Another interesting observance was the fact that the Royals all have exceptionally long last names. [They could barely squish them in to the diamond when their fielding positions were displayed.]

Gathwright
Mientkiewicz
Grudzielanek
Graffanino (*sniff*)
Wellemeyer

Announcer man had a little trouble with Grudzielanek. He sort of flew right through it, hoping he got it right. Matt Stairs continues to be my favorite major league name, though my mother has altered it slightly by changing "Matt" to "Back."

Overall, I was impressed with the work of the bullpen last night. Delcarmen held up really nicely. Hansen sparkled - and not just his huge freak teeth!

I forgot to charge my battery, so no pics from last night. Again, I've been super busy, so I'm cutting myself a little slack.

My friend Anne and I are getting together tonight (not that you care), so I'm not sure how much of the game I will catch. But, I will say that we need to beat these guys up. Seriously. Two out of three, at least. The lead must be padded! Go Lester!

See You After the All Star Break

2006-07-10T11:59:00.000-04:00

Jason Varitek is taking a break, and so am I. I never much cared for the All Star festivities. I always vote, but I never watch any of it. Do you really think, with the NL looking the way they do, that there is any chance of them obtaining home field advantage? Maybe they'll make it interesting. Who knows?

Anyhoo, I really need the time off from baseball. Especially after that killer game yesterday. You know it's bad when it gets to a certain point in the game and you just don't care who wins anymore. You're like someone, please stick a fork in this!

Ciao for a few!

"You're gonna need a bigger broom."

2006-07-09T15:23:00.000-04:00

I've spent the majority of the weekend tying things up with the sale of the condo (yay!) and hanging out with my girlfriends. Seems like the more I sort of keep an eye on the Sox from a distance, the better they do. And what's with all this sweepy business? If (BIG IF) we beat the White Sox today, it'll just be plain weird. If we aren't getting swept (alright, we walked away with 1 measly dignity win in the series against the Rays after losing 3 in a row and there was that one loss against the Marlins, but still), we're sweeping. It's wacky.

So, I'm going to do my part and go out, do some laundry, and toss the ball around in the park with my friend, Anne.

P.S. Is it not overkill to light "homerun" fireworks off during the day in Chicago? It's the same as the Liberty Bell stuff in Philadelphia and the tiger roar in Detroit. Necessary?

I Suspect

2006-07-06T13:41:00.000-04:00

... we haven't seen the last of Johnson. Unfortunately.

Why not Syder? Why not anybody else? We've given the guy a fair shot. He didn't come with consistency. He came with, "he's a ground ball pitcher." *Ahem* I saw a lot of balls whizzing around in the air during his last 2 outings.

This Series, Thus Far

2006-07-05T21:54:00.000-04:00

Warning: Sarcasm Up Ahead

2006-07-05T19:19:00.000-04:00

Corcoran pelted Youk, then almost got Loretta in the head. It must be weird to hit someone with a pitch and not really be able to apologize. You know it stung like a mofo, and I'm sure a human's natural reaction is to run up to whoever and be like, "Oh my, are you okay?!" I do this to inanimate objects, sometimes. Meanwhile, a pitcher accidently lops some dude's head off with a pitch, then stands there all awkward while the headless batter goes to first. It must be strange, is all I'm sayin.

You see how no one talks about that horrible heckler? Neither Orsillo nor Remy even acknowledge it. Do they even hear it? Is the heckler the same person making that obnoxious "banging on the cowbell" noise? I wonder if it's one of those deals where if it's talked about, then the heckler "wins" somehow so the idea is to pretend it isn't happening. Meanwhile the sound quality of this game suffers. That's a good compromise, huh?

Lead off single for the Rays ... and catcher's interference. Weee! Baldelli brings Lugo home for the first run. And no outs! Well, at least we've got Johnson going tonight. He'll settle down and give us a bunch of "ground outs." Yep, you watch. [I wonder if the Rays will get on base due to more weirdness and shitbag pitching.]

Quick Pre-Game Look Alike

2006-07-05T18:30:00.000-04:00

When I first saw Zdeno Chara on the news tonight, I thought - Hey! What's Andy Pettitte doing playing hockey?

Zdeno

Andy

Wacko!

Bing Bang Boom

2006-07-04T22:37:00.000-04:00

I'll give New York New Year's Eve, but man, Boston's got the best 4th of July celebration EVAH! I've always wanted to be on a boat floating on the Charles during the display. Ah, someday.

I can hear the fireworks booming out my window while watching it on the tube.

Meanwhile, in Steinbrenner Land ...

2006-07-04T21:34:00.000-04:00

Alright, I know that we Sox fans are very humbly holding onto first with a padding of 4 games, but I just caught the final score between the Yanks and the Indians and woah, what a wolloping! 19-1, Tribe. I had to read it several times to make sure it was right. That's some serious humilation, there. I grant you, Cleveland has a decent team, but still.

However ...

we've got Johnson (ironically from Cleveland) going tomorrow and, well, let's just say I hope our defense is totally on and our offense can light it up against TB's 1.17 ERA starter.

Messy, Messy, Messy

2006-07-04T19:07:00.000-04:00

Well, that didn't go well.

The pitching gets a C-, at best.

Were Kaplar and Ortiz the only ones working, offensively (not counting the rally in the 9th)?

Youk's error in the 8th inning massacre was both rare and awful.

I've had it with that mascot of theirs who demonstrates the worst sportsmanship imaginable (obviously jealous that we are at opposite poles in the division standing).

The man screaming behind the plate was way out of control, too. He must have season tickets or something because I hear him shouting during these matchups in Florida a lot (isn't he the guy who used to heckle Damon mercilessly?). How is this allowed? Shouldn't an overzealous a-hole like that get ejected? Especially when it interferes with the game audio!

I just hope that we don't get swept. If so, this series and the one with the Twins would serve as bookends for a very impressive run. And that would be strange.

On a quasi-related note, twice I saw the Classic Moment commercial in which Ted Williams and Joe Cronin's numbers get retired and twice I cried. Gawd, I'm a sap!

Gonzalez Rules At Short

2006-07-04T18:14:00.000-04:00

That is all.

Wicked Loss

2006-07-04T09:57:00.000-04:00

Why, oh, why do the Sox have such poor results against Kazmir? Is it the lefty thing? What is our record against lefties? Better or worse than RHPs? According to Bob Ryan, various shifts were on David. The Rays were trying to psych him out with different ones. I guess that’s what a last place team has to do against the power house that is Papi. Also crappy, the Red Sox were the opposing team during Kazmir’s first career complete game. A game I’m glad I missed.

I did see some post game, and the more I think about my friend Ilene’s theory, the more I am convinced: When McCarty joins Tom Caron or the occasional Eric Frede, the Red Sox lose. Personally, I don’t think it’s McCarty per se, but rather the bad James Cagney hair. Please, McCarty, if you are reading this, for the love of Mike, do something about the hair!

An aside - I was actually happy to read that both Lugo and Baldelli are back in the TB line up. That team needs them, to be sure. I’m a fan of Rocco’s (a) because his name is so freaking cool and (b) he’s from Rhode Island and rumored to be wicked* into the Pats. And I am a fan of Lugo’s, as we share the same birthday. Note: This is not the same as my blog’s birthday.

Have a happy and safe Fourth of July, all!

*So far, I can only think of 2 grammatical uses for the word wicked.
1. Adverb, like the above example: I never thought he cared for stamp collecting, but now he’s wicked into it. ~OR~ I wicked need to buy that book.
2. Adjective: She was driving wicked fast and I lost her!

Milestone

2006-06-30T11:03:00.000-04:00

Tomorrow, it will have been 1 year since I lept to blogger from livejournal!

Division Standing

2006-06-30T10:42:00.000-04:00

History in the Making

2006-06-29T21:41:00.000-04:00

"Show bunt" is such a funny phrase to me. I show bunt. He show bunt. She show bunt. We show bunt.

So, yeah, I've got lots to catch up on here. Firstly, the Sox are on fire. Fi-YAAAAAAH (sung like Ian Astbury in "Firewoman," less like Jim Morrison in "Light My Fire," though they are interchangeable, really - whichever brooding rock star strikes your fancy). Eleven (plus Eleven, what to do when I was seven) straight with no errors. Unbelievable.

Speaking of Morrisons and brooders, Adam was drafted by the Bobcats! Sadly, he will leave Gonzaga before his last year (who knows how they will fare in the still 65 team NCAA men's tournament?), however, Charlotte must be psyched. He's still rockin' his crazy hair and mustache, thank heavens. And did you know that he's wicked into Karl Marx and Che Guevara? He's such a complicated person. Oh, and he pronounces Gonzaga properly, which I might have written a while back. I think it deserves another mention. I am very much considering purchasing his player jersey this year, though I would certainly covet a Gonzaga Morrison jersey more. And if the C's really get AI, well, I will shit myself. I love Iverson and I have no issues with all his "street" whatever that people complain about.

Pedro's return has sparked feelings of nostalgia all throughout the land. I was at Fenway for the first 2 games of the series (alone on Tuesday and with my friend, Kara, last night - all tickets courtesy of Jere - thank you! Well, I'm going to pay him for them, but still ...). I was there for every ovation, every moving tribute. Do I have pictures? No. Why? Because I was clapping crazy like a dope the whole time. But, here are some shots of our '86 American League champs:

Here's Alice. She threw out the 1st pitch. 100 years old, and let me tell you, plenty capable of finding the strike zone.

Castig, the MC

Oil Can Boyd

Converging on the mound

Dewey

Here comes Bruce Hurst

JIM! (a little blurry, sorry)

Spike Owen

Steve Crawford (I think)

And lastly, here are the 2006 Sox, doing the traditional hand slappin' at the end of the game.

Last night's game was pretty interesting. On the way over, Kara and I were waiting by the Museum of Science, to get onto Storrow, and some weirdo jogging with a t-shirt that simply said "OFFICIAL" on the back, ran his sweaty jogging ass over to my car, stuck his head in (may or may not have dripped sweat on Kara's lap) and said, "I like your stickers!" (referring to my bumper stickers). The rest of the night was simply divine. Fantastic weather (the overcast sky eventually gave way to a gorgeous sunset), close proximity to the beer line and the ladies room, and a nice mix of people in the bleachers (meaning Mets and Sox fans). I heard "(I Wanna) Rock and Roll All Night," by KISS, which I thought was a nice substitute for not hearing Danzig's, "Mother," as Foulke is still on the DL. Incidentally, my next pet (oh, man, there were some sweet cats up for adoption at the Animal Rescue League this weekend) will be named, "Danzig" (male or female).

So, here we are in the 9th. And we are very close to another sweep (2 run lead with Pap on the mound). 4 consecutive, it would be. What an AMAZING diving catch by Coco. I almost lost my mind watching that. Wow. The Sox could be making history here. If they get through this game (or the next) without an error, we will have. Too lazy to do the research.

I've Still Got a Pulse

2006-06-29T11:39:00.000-04:00

So, yeah, I've been a bit out of the blogging loop these last few days. Things have been quite busy, but I am slating some writing time for this evening, so watch out! There will be pictures, stories, treats! Stay tuned!

For Whom the Bell Tolls

2006-06-24T23:01:00.000-04:00

One thing I forgot to mention - there were 3 pretty weird deaths in the last day or so:

1. Jean Benet Ramsey's mother (ovarian cancer)
2. Aaron Spelling
3. E. Pierce Marshall (He's the son of the old multi-millionaire dude that Anna Nicole Smith married. She inherited his fortune until the now deceased brought her to court and stuck to his guns over it). By the way, I can totally see a Creepshow scenario playing out, where Anna Nicole visits her ex and he exhumes himself from his own grave screaming, "I want my cake!"

Aaron Spelling was a shocker. And with all the weirdness that's going in Tori's life (you know, marrying that shifty man and all). I think that Michelle Damon and Tori's new hubby would make a fine couple. Those kooky gold diggers!

"My Weird Cat" by Witch City Sox Girl

2006-06-24T17:25:00.000-04:00

My cat has taken to sitting, lounging and napping on the coffee table.

It's an IKEA number, not even real wood. I totally don't get it. Before this, he was obsessed with an area in my apartment I call "the cave." It's a tiny alcove behind clothes. A place that humans need to squat to get into. He also went through a "bathroom floor" phase. Normally, he wouldn't be caught anywhere near a bathroom, yet suddenly he was sleeping on my bathmat as though it were his kitty bed. Which is, of course, this:

Somebody Tell Me

2006-06-24T17:14:00.000-04:00

What on earth would we do without this man?

God, I love you, David Ortiz. May I never take you for granted. Ever.

Questions

2006-06-23T18:38:00.000-04:00

Nice guy.

I am really confused about this. Here's a hypothetical scenario: Suppose I get arrested for whatever. Shop lifting or something. My employer finds out and decides, because I'm heading up a project, I'm going to go right back to work immediately and start doing (the stuff that project managers like myself do). Is this even remotely likely? How come ballplayers, wait, professional athletes, own (literally) a get out of jail free card? Where is the shame? Why hasn't the commissioner intervened? At my job, I'm certain that my boss would find a replacement for me pretty fast. When a guy goes on the disabled list, doesn't management have to scramble to find someone to fill the hole? Why isn't Myers mandated to stay out of the rotation until this thing is over? What kind of message does this send to the fans? And who in the world stays with a man who hits you? Even once? I'm sorry, but, there's no "we can work this thing out" in domestic abuse cases. Also, Myers has the worst eyebrows I have ever seen. They're big and pronounced, but also perfectly manicured. Just the type of eyebrows a person who beats his wife would have. I feel bad for the rest of the Phillies. They don't deserve to be associated with King Jackassness.

One last question - what's the deal with this make believe rivalry between the Red Sox and the Phillies? One rivalry isn't enough? (alright, that's 2 more questions). I think the folks in the MLB marketing department thought, "Hey, these Red Sox fans sure like a good rivalry. Let's create a National League rival for them. Brilliant!" Sorry, MLB marketers. I actually like the Phillies.

On a positive note - I've got to hand it to Miguel Cabrera. No one intentionally walks ME! That's a great story.

Who-Da-Lee Who Cares?

2006-06-22T21:44:00.000-04:00

Crawford did steriods and I could care less. It was a billion years ago and, to be honest, who is Paxton Crawford again? He sort of gets slotted in the same category as Dante "The Bitch" Bichette. I mean, why the hell is this front page news?

Prove that Trot or Jason or Nomar was doing it and I'll perk up. Until then, Paxton is getting another 15 minutes he really doesn't deserve.

Need Assistance in the Music Department

2006-06-22T10:19:00.000-04:00

Does anyone know where/how I can obtain a copy of Nine Below Zero's Eleven Plus Eleven? This song does not appear to be on any of their discs. They performed it live on an episode of The Young Ones back in '82. I have this on DVD, but I desperately want the single. Anyone?!

Hey, Guess Who's Back?

2006-06-22T07:00:00.000-04:00

One for the Braves ...

and one for the Nats ...

Lester was solid last night. Wicked solid.

On a different note, my friend Dan suggested that Ortiz's at bat music be "Rainbow in the Dark" or "Holy Diver." Can anyone guess why? (This is a pretty easy quiz, but you've gotta know your classic rock.)

Happy Thursday!

Incidentally

2006-06-19T20:40:00.000-04:00

I can't stand this guy.

This is going to be a weird game, I think ...

2006-06-19T19:45:00.000-04:00

Another odd thing about this team is the fact that Schneider wears ivory colored catcher gear. Combine that with his gray uniform, and the dude looks like an armadillo back there. Also, I thought it strange when he was facing Snyder. You know, Schneider vs Snyder.

On a positive note, Gabe Kaplar is back. I still say he's going to get traded. Probably for a pitcher. Especially if he starts turning it on. You don't believe me? Just watch.

The more pressing priority for Front Office was trying to find a pitcher who looks like Bronson to appease those who were pissed off about the Wily Mo for Arroyo deal. Snyder definitely has the Bronson hair as well as the Bronson squint. He's not quite as Daddy Long Legs, but when you look fast ... it's creepy. Please don't tell me you weren't thinkin' it!

Number 13

2006-06-19T19:28:00.000-04:00

Hey, Beavis, did you see that guy's jersey?

Mmmm, yeah, hmmmm, mmm, it says, "Fuck." Ha, ha.

Uhhhhh, no Beavis, it says, Fick. With an "i."

Mmmmm, uh, yeah. But it should say "Fuck." That would be cool.

Baseball B-Days

2006-06-19T09:39:00.000-04:00

I don't know if any of you have ever done this, but it's a fun little exercise. Baseball reference has this neat little feature called "Players Born Today."

Celebrating brithdays on June 19th: Dustan Mohr, Doug Mientkiewicz, Bruce Chen, Hall of Famer Lou Gehrig, just to name a few.

Both Pete Rose and "Dr. K" Dwight Gooden share my birthday. Scorpios rule!

Not a Bad Start to Interleague Play

2006-06-19T09:19:00.000-04:00

That game was Looney Tunes City! I missed the "explosive" 8th inning. I also missed Seanez give up a 3-run-homer (thank heavens). Of course, it sucks that Seanez gets the W (ridiculous reward for shitty pitching), but what can you do? Curt was great last night - and I am amused watching him hit. It's so surreal to see him standing on the 1st base bag. I'm sure this isn't weird for him, since he's spent most of his career in the NL, but still. I think Seanez needs a nickname. See me blow this-nez? Okay, you guys take a stab. Clearly, I've got nothin.

Sweeping the Braves kind of cancels out getting swept by the Twins. I hope they keep Lester in the starting rotation and I also hope that they rely on Decarmen more than Seanez and Tavarez. I think, with a little more major league work, this guy could be a key part of our bullpen. We still need more reliable relief pitchers as well as an answer for Clement, if he continues on this path, but I'm sure that Theo is hard at work on this. He'd better be.

So, the Sox are home tonight to face the team that just took 2 out of 3 with our division rivals. Stink bomb RJ pitches tonight against Myers in Cheese Steak, Cheese Steak, Cheese Steak. Let the Liberty Bell ring!

Ah, I love being back in first place.

Zombie

2006-06-16T22:55:00.000-04:00

Totally unrelated to baseball - I think it's hysterical that scary Rob Zombie was born and raised in Haverhill, Mass.

Public Service Announcement

2006-06-16T22:29:00.000-04:00

Hello. My name is Mike Lowell and I rock.

Paid for by the Department of Red Sox Unsung Heroes.

Congratulations to Lester for his first major league victory! The kid pitched well tonight (minus that last inning). Excellent breaking ball.

Poor Eric Frede. His head looks like it was jammed in a vice. Or mooshed together by the hands of Jason Voorhees. Jim Rice wears tinted glasses. I can't believe I never noticed that. He's so snazzy.

Here's a Question

2006-06-16T21:40:00.000-04:00

Do you think Seanez even cares how he does? I get the feeling that he doesn't.

(Obviously, Seanez read my blog quickly before taking the mound. He had a decent outing tonight.)

Interleague Father's Play Weekend

2006-06-16T09:27:00.000-04:00

I've got a busy weekend ahead which includes attending a wedding in Danvers (Dan-viz, if you're from these parts), so I'm not sure I'll have a chance to write much. I do hope the Sox have gotten all the losing out of their collective system and can put a few Ws on the board. It's an interleague series (the 1st in 5), so our chances are, well, uncertain. I never know how things are going to shake out.

An early "Happy Father's Day" to all you dads out there! Here's a pic of my dad before I was born. It was taken in January of 1970, 7 months before my parents "tied the knot." As you can see, my dad is probably "tying one on" in this shot (see can of Schlitz by his knee). Classic.

[Update: Per Mom's request, I put her back into the photo. I hesitated because of the whole "hand on the knee" thing. This is a family blog! Well, except for the occasional curse words. Heh, heh.]

Shit Series

2006-06-15T23:05:00.000-04:00

Great, tied for second place with the Jays. You know what? We deserve it. We sucked these last few games. Blown opportunities. Crappy relief. Frustrating losses.

Don't Blame Canada. Blame Me.

2006-06-15T22:01:00.000-04:00

I vowed to avoid tonight's game. I thought it would be helpful for the Sox. I went out for a long walk, did other stuff, etc. Then, I foolishly put the game on. Just to check in. Top of the 7th, 0-4, Twins. Sorry, kids. This loss is going to be on me. (I figure that announcing a loss before it actually happens will tempt the fates to initiate a come from behind win. But my predicting this just put the kibosh on the plan. Wait, this statement reverses the kibosh. Oh, forget it.)

Hot Poker in the Eye, Anyone?

2006-06-14T22:31:00.000-04:00

Did I just see that? Did that just happen? ANOTHER grand slam for the Twins? This time, off Delcarmen, who I am secretly pulling for (soft spot for the local kid).

So, who are the active bullpen options (apart from the obvious lights out Papelbon)?

Van Buren - Usually pretty reliable, but way to load 'em up for Delcarmen.
Delcarmen - Decent.
Tavarez - Don't talk to me. I'm still pissed about last night.
Seanez - Sorry, not an option anymore, as far as I'm concerned.
Timlin - Still not 100%.
Riske - Are you kidding me?

This is really shaky.

The only good news tonight is that RJ got ejected for hitting a dude an inning after Posada got pelted. I guess that's why he gets paid the big bucks. I'd love to chuck my ballpoint pen at some of the people I work with from time to time, but I don't. I'd get fired.

P.S. You should pay attention to the organ player tonight. He/she plays the normal rally bars, then zings in a little "Smoke on the Water." Is this some kind of mocking technique? Like, it's a blowout anyway, so I'm just gonna mess around on the keys.

Wind = Taken Out of Sails

2006-06-13T23:18:00.000-04:00

Santana was incredibly dominant tonight. Huge props to Jason for getting a homer off that guy. We had a couple of would-be rallies, including a bunt attempt by Coco (hey, why the heck not?) but it wasn't until the 12th that the Sox got their engine cranked up. The weak pitching by the Twins assisted. The Sox squeaked into the lead on a single up the middle (nicely stunted by the Twins' defense) by Alex Gonzalez (Side bar: I had dinner with my buddies Mr. and Mrs. Joey tonight and he came up in discussion. Mr. Joey is a big fan. I have to agree that he plays his position exceptionally well. No one is complaining, so this is a good sign.) Tavarez with his 2 seam fastball, fanned Mauer for out numero uno. Cuddyer (said Cud-die-er, though I want to say Cudd-ee-yah) was hit by a pitch. Morneau, batter number 3, came up to the plate and shot a (ground rule) double out to right center, bringing the Cud to 3rd. Tavarez intentionally walked Hunter to load the bases. Still one out. Kubel worked the count full. Then, then, then ... he smacked it good and knocked it out. Walk off grand salami.

Oof. I hate to see all that hard work just flushed down the toilet. Especially Curt and Papelbon's. Mainly Pap's, though.

On the plus side, my boy Trot got 2 key hits tonight. I feel like documenting all of his productivity and smearing it in the face of the anti-Trot types. Are they watching the same games as me? You know what they'd say, right? He's playing for a contract. Even if this is true, or partly true, are we supposed to discount all his contributions this year because of it?

Live Free or Hurt Yourself Badly

2006-06-12T15:28:00.000-04:00

Ben Roethlisberger was in a pretty terrible motorcycle accident today. I hope he can recover from this alright. News reports are still sketchy here. Some say that he seemed alright walking away from the scene, others suggest that the damage is severe. Either he has a rind as thick as Johnny Damon or there's going to be permanent damage. Let's all hope for the former. I mean, anyone who gets on a motorcycle and refuses to wear a helmet has got to be pretty thick upstairs.

Get well soon, Ben!

2006-06-09T21:15:00.000-04:00

Did I say Trot was 3 for 3? Uh, try 4 for 4.

Spread the Love

2006-06-09T20:57:00.000-04:00

Alright, I love Youk and all, but here's what I've got a beef with: Lowell is a tremendous talent at 3rd. Dude makes amazing plays over there. Better than Mueller, even. So, when he's able to grab a wild hit towards 3rd with such grace and shoots it over to Youk for the play at 1st, what happens? The crowd screams, "Youuuuuuuuuuuk." I grant you, sometimes Kevin is straddle splittin' on the bag, but can we give it up for them both with a great big, non-player specific cheer?

Also, Hazel Mae is wearing that dumb Easter suit again and I want to puke on it. If I had a body like hers, I wouldn't waste it on cutesy bank lady dresses. Speaking of dresses, I found this gorgous number on line. I don't get girly all that often, so pardon my gushing all over it. I love vintage.

Random Banter (hey, at least I'm consistent)

2006-06-09T20:38:00.000-04:00

Mench (aka Super Bobble) is such a villainous name. Just reeks of "bad guy." Speaking of villains, during the pregame, Tom Caron was joined by Dave McCarty. His hair has become so gangster. No, not gangsta, as in "damn it feels good to be a gangsta." Think Cagney and pin striped suits. Here's the way it is, see? We're going to talk about the starting rotation, see? I mean, who dressed this guy? Did his wife make him wear that get-up and style his hair?

You should know that Waldo's voice in the Hot for Teacher video ("Ah, mom, you know I'm not like other guys. I'm nervous and my socks are too loose") is none other than the late, great Phil Hartman. Empy creates parody McCarty articles every so often on her site and they are very amusing. In fact, she just did one today!

Paddila looks a little like Seanez (minus the go-funny eyes), Same number of syllables, too. Padilla is only 28-years-old. What?! Wowzers, you could have fooled me.

Trot's 3 for 3 so far. But he sucks, right? (For those of you getting tired of my sarcasm re: Trot sucking, please know that I will continue to do this until the Nixon poo-pooers apologize publicly. Which basically translates into forever. Sox fans are stubborn as hell about their opinions. Rarely do they stand corrected. I, myself, am no exception. Although, I did come around to David Wells last year. Remember? Anyway, that's not the point. I adore Trot Nixon and that ain't changing.)

By the way, I love the phrase "authentic replica jersey."

If you are going to tomorrow's make up game, like me, don't forget to bring the white cotton socks for the homeless!

Lastly, RJ is having another stinker of an outing for the Yanks.

I Can't Say Enough About Papelbon

2006-06-08T22:26:00.000-04:00

Really, I can't.

Rainshine

2006-06-08T13:58:00.000-04:00

Crappy about the postponement of the game last night. In lieu of this, I am posting a pic from a Red Sox-Yankees game I went to on May 22nd.

This is Chris Collins, getting ready to report "live from Fenway Park." Also, I think Byron Barnett is standing to his right, but I'm not sure. I like Chris Collins. He talks like the Coast Guard spotter at the end of the movie Overboard who says, "It was a hell of day at sea, sir!" But seriously, that's a good freaking movie.

St. Pauley Boy

2006-06-06T19:55:00.000-04:00

Alright, I've decided to take Pauley under my wing. I'm putting on my mommy hat, folks. Maybe it's because he kind of looks like Pee Wee Herman:

Well, sometimes, he sort of looks like Judd Nelson:

Either way, I feel the need to mother him. I want to go out and buy care packages (filled with Shaws brownies and Ssips iced tea) and a copy of Chicken Soup for the Soul. I want to give him pep talks and write him letters of encouragement. I haven't felt this way since the Darrin Lewis days.

Melky Cabrera's at-bat music sounds like a candy commercial from the early 80s. Hi, yes, I'm going to be playing tonight in Yankee Stadium and I'm going to be watched by thousands, if not millions of people on television. Can you please use the music from that old Wheaties commercial when I exit the on deck circle?"

For those of you watching NESN - have you seen the commercials promoting job openings? Are they really hurting that bad? Hell, I'll send my resume.

By the way ...

I hate Cairo.

I hate A-Rod.

I hate Posada.

Hopefully, Yankee fans will have to ease their upset stomachs with "Andy Phillip's Melky of Mussina" when this game is done.

You Mean There's Another Kind of Baseball?

2006-06-02T07:19:00.000-04:00

Indeed, there is.

Back in the frigid days of winter, I printed out the NAWBL schedule. That's the North American Women's Baseball League, for those not in the know. Don't worry, you aren't alone. The sport does such a huge injustice to the women who love it and play it hard, it's a wonder they have a half-way decent park to play in.

Anyway, I'm adding "take as much video of these women playing" to my list of summer projects. I'm not sure how I'm going to fit this in with my on-going geneology research and painting projects, but I'm willing to try. The first game I can catch is June 13th* (possibly one over the previous weekend, but I don't know for sure), Ravens vs. Seahawks. My ultimate goal is to create a modest little movie with the footage and send it to the powers-that-be and ask them (who ever they are) to do something to advance this. Oh yeah, the other goal is to watch the women kick ass on the field.

*Not sure if this date is going to hold, as I've recently gone to the site and discovered that the try-outs were pushed back. This could have an impact on the schedule. They've removed all the dates they had up for 2006 so they could post this announcement.

New Look for Ortiz

2006-05-31T20:54:00.000-04:00

Before:

After:

Next Step:

Meanwhile, Manny is putting manure under his cap. His hair is really growing.

Lastly, I think that Troy Glaus has shades of Richard Kind (from Mad About You):
Glaus:

Kind:

[Poor, Pauley - he's not feeling very good about himself (he sort of looked like he might have been crying, actually). How is it his fault that the Red Sox have such a hole in their starting rotation? Actually, for a major league debut, I don't think he did that badly. This Toronto team is tough. I'm just glad that we were able to pounce on a rare shitty Lilly performance.]

Pauley Makes Major League Debut

2006-05-31T20:36:00.000-04:00

So far, so good, too. Bottom of the 4th and Boston's on top, 5-2. Lilly's stinkbomb outing isn't hurtin' us, either.

Just Rays

2006-05-27T21:02:00.000-04:00

It’s hot, people. Cha-cha sweating hot. This is a good thing. In fact, the only complaint I have is that, due to everyone lifting up their windows, I am subjected to my neighor's Nickelback crap (or whatever it is - all bad new music is labeled "Nickelback " by me.) Oh great - the neighbor is now singing along - totally belting it out, American Idol-style. Whatever tom-or-row brings, I'll be there with open arms and open eyes ... This is really hilarious. I'm tempted to do a little "sing back."

Seth McWhat? Clung? I don't have to tell you how funny that is. Cow Dung McClung. Static McClung. Look, I coughed up a McCLung!

May is "Heavy Metal Month" on VH1. I am horribly addicted to the programming. I am actually mad because they are telling the "Story of Heavy Metal" and KISS is being played now, during the game. I've heard a million variations of this and it never gets old for me. My father had a friend whose daughter had all 4 of the KISS dolls and I was insanely jealous. During the "Top 100 Metal Bands of All Time," Guns and Roses actually placed closer to number one than KISS. That, my friends, is an outrage. Nothing against G&R, but come on! Watching the countdown pretty much confirmed the following:

Lita Ford is useless.

The guy from Ratt, Stephen Pearcy, aged nicely. The odds were not in his favor.

I genuinely like CC Deville, though I genuinely dislike Poison.

I've always had a soft spot for James Hetfield. I bet he'd be an interesting guy to have a brewskie with.

On the topic of Metallica, Jason Newsted looks like my friend, Geoff (who spells his name the same way as Tate, from Queensryche).

I could go on and on with this irrelevant stuff.

At the bottom of the 2nd, Harris attempted a steal ... and actually got it. Then, Youk reached 3rd after turning around - excuse me? - to see where the ball was. It should have been a double. I really thought he was out, but apparently the tag was weak or nonexistent, so Youk was called safe. Wicked huge gift.

Trot got yet ANOTHER clutch hit. Still, I am completely confused as to why he's "totally overrated." Can someone explain this to me? Since when was Trot considered to this big hero/God? He's been here a while, fans go out and buy his player jersey, I think he's earned that. Never have I heard anyone gush like crazy over Trot. He's a pretty decent and consistent guy (left handed pitchers not considered), he doesn't bellyache, he does his share of charity work in a quiet way. All this complainin’ necessitates a little ‘splainin’!

The other day, my friend Ilene mastered Papelbon face. Here is me, trying to do it:

She and I also talked about how weird it is that some pitchers try to will home runs into routine pop-ups by immediately pointing their index fingers up, almost angry-like while the ball sails into the stands. I like combining the Papelbon face with the angry finger point.

I guess we can’t call the Devil Rays the Devil Rays anymore. They’re pulling a Jefferson Starship here. “We’re called Jefferson Airplane. No, wait, we’re changing it. Starships are cooler than airplanes. You know what? Screw it – we’re just going to be: Starship.” So, using this logic, the Devil Rays are now “The Rays.” I doubt that this is going to do much in the improvement department. They stink. They’ll always stink (except Rocco Baldelli). You know, I actually liked the Devil part of their name. Now, they’re just a bunch of generic shmoes. You can call me Ray or you can call me Jay …

Hearing Joey Gathwright’s name always makes me think of this:
"She call, I yell 'Cartwright! Cartwright! no one answer, she say cuss-word, I hang up."

So, it’s the bottom of the 5th and the "You Can Call Me Rays" are gaining on us.

P.S. Travis Lee thinks he's Nomar.

Quick Plug For the Boston ARL

2006-05-25T13:04:00.000-04:00

So, I often get mail from the Animal Rescue League, as I am a volunteer and what-have-you. Anyway, they are hosting a "foster care" open house on May 31st at 7 PM (Boston Branch -10 Chandler Street, Boston, MA).

The purpose of this event is to educate folks who are interested in becoming foster care providers to animals (mainly cats and dogs) in need of a temporary home. They have asked me to "spread the word" and "be creative." While this isn't very creative, I am doing my part in this grass roots marketing campaign.

The event will last no more than 1 hour and they are going to have light refreshments, I am told. Go to their site if you would like more 411.

Wright's Other Job

2006-05-24T10:17:00.000-04:00

I saw last night's game with my friend and former boss dude, Dave. At [Vox]. Seriously, is this how they refer to themselves? With brackets? From now on, I want to be known as K(im). Anyway, the game sucked ass, but Dave made a keen observation. Jaret Wright is the person who they threw in during Bill Bixby's transformation into the hulk. After Bixby, but before Ferrigno.

Jaret:

Snapshot of transformation:

The in between person who could easily be Wright:

What kind of name is Jaret anyway? Should it be Jared? Only in the greater Philadelphia area is "Jared" pronounced "Jaret." Other words pronounced with a Philly accent:

Davit (David)
livit (livid)
morbit (morbid)

You get the idea.

Tonight, there will be pictures from the weekend and stuff. If you're still interested, that is. I am beyond late in getting them postit (posted).

Delinquent

2006-05-23T13:39:00.000-04:00

I've not been slacking. Just busy. So much baseball, so little time to post about it.

After the Phillies games this weekend, I attended last night's Sox/Yankee game (seats courtesy of Ilene and Nick - thank you, guys!). As you can imagine, it was glorious.

I've got lots to write and many pictures to share witchoo all. Unfortunately, these people (the ones who pay me) expect me to work, so it's all going to have to wait.

Teaser Pic

2006-05-22T08:53:00.000-04:00

I got home very late last night (early this morning, actually).

Here is a picture courtesy of my friend, Taylor, who treated me to the games. I am holding a stuffed bear (made by his sister) wearing a Sox uniform (gift from his girlfriend). I am dreaming of a Sox victory, which, of course, I got. This was Saturday - before DiNardo DiStunko. Behind me, Tina Cervasio was setting up an interview with Gordon Edes. We got to see lots of pregame workout activity, which was very cool.

More to come.

Extreme Poker?

2006-05-18T21:41:00.000-04:00

That dumb NY-Boston poker challenge crap is gracing NESN once again. General questions/observations:

1. Did you even know that Boston won the challenge last year? Every time I tuned in, Boston was down to their last player and it was bullet sweating time. I just figured that the NY team took the trophy home without effort.

2. The Boston team is comprised of a bunch of dorks. And this year is worse than last with that goody-two-shoes Wellesley College type on the team. She angers me so much, I can't be bothered to look up her name. All I know is that she complains about how "rude" New Yorkers are in the commercials. When was the last time you went to Haymarket, lady?

3. The New York team always has some arrogant jerk. This year, I think they have 2. Some guy with crazy hair is this year's Adam Shoenfeld. I swear, they pick people like this because they are playing into the whole stereotype. It's the non-New Yorker's view of what every single New Yorker is like (much like those Red Sox lottery ticket commercials on the radio where they fake poll a few "New Yorkers" and ask them what they think of the game. Awful.)

4. Is poker a sport? Why the heck is it on NESN?

Philly Bound

2006-05-18T20:38:00.000-04:00

So, I've already mentioned that I lived in Philly once. Indeed, this is true. At another (earlier) point in my life, I lived in South Jersey, just over the Ben Franklin Bridge. I actually count that as living in Philadelphia, also, even though it was technically Jersey. While I was a Garden State resident, I spent a good number of quiet Sundays in Philadelphia (I was far too young to have a lonely and pathetic existence then, but I tried to think of it as a "soul searching" time.)

Anyway, I love the Philadelphia Art Museum. And I really enjoy the area surrounding it. I once sat in the raging summer sun (it gets super hot there in July) to paint the view from the museum steps to City Hall. I sketched in watercolor, then translated it to a little abstract painting. Why I chose to add another steeple on is beyond me.

Actual View:

Kim's Wacko Abstract Interpretation (1998):

I forgot to mention that I do, in fact, like the Phillies quite a bit. Pat Burrell, Jimmy Rollins and Bobby Abreu are decent players. It's also the team that once staffed Curt Schilling and Francona. I've definitely got a soft spot. But, in the end, I'm traveling there to watch the Red Sox beat the Phillies.

Sound of Balloon Deflating

2006-05-18T09:58:00.000-04:00

Dear WIllie Harris,

What the fuck?

Sincerely,
Witch City Sox Girl

I mean, you could smell "rally" in the air with Papi's 2-run homer and Tejada's gift screw up (allowing Wily Mo to get on base). The stage was set with Trotter up. He was ahead of the count. Things were looking promising. And then, Harris pulled the plug with his stupid, stupid, stupid steal attempt. What a crappy way to end a game that we had a legitimate shot at winning. At least Millar got to walk away thinking, "Hey, I got a homer off the knuckleball guy. Sweet." Good for Kevin.

So, tomorrow night we face ex-Pirate/Cub/Yankee pitcher Jon Leiber. And I will be in attendance at the games in Philadelphia AKA "Baby New York." Both Friday and Saturday nights. I'm taking this show on the road, reader, so watch out! It's my annual game with my always wise and generous surrogate dad. He's an O's fan living in the City of Brotherly Love. I'm really looking forward to seeing the new stadium! I used to go see the Phillies play at the old Veteran's stadium when I lived there a while ago. The new one is supposedly all "throw back" and whatnot.

The Return of Eric Frede and The Sun

2006-05-17T09:39:00.000-04:00

All I saw of last night's game was Pap. I caught Timlin's relief outing in the postgame, hosted by Jim Rice and ... Eric Frede!

I enjoyed a cool "pot luck" style dinner with my friend Anne, who isn't even remotely interested in baseball. People like this exist. And lots of them are great people. She's a neighbor of mine who I just recently met. Anyway, I rarely have company and as we were chatting, I noticed things. Embarrassing things. Like, the fact that I just leave my medication out in the kitchen and I write silly reminder notes to myself on my dry erase board. It's a little difficult to rid the room of these things after your friend has been standing there for a while. I was able to snag the medication, but how do you casually start wiping down your dry erase board in mid conversation? Awkward.

Anyway, I was disappointed by the Yankees' stupid come back victory last night. I saw the final Posada run on MLB "gameday." It sucks to be the Rangers today, knowing that you squandered such a handsome lead. Mariano "The Skull" Rivera is weakening, it seems. I wonder if he's going to try another type of pitch someday.

Oh yeah, and something very weird happened last night - around 6:15 PM. This crazy thing came out of hiding:

I was at Whole Foods and everyone in the produce section just stopped what they were doing and looked out the windows, as if an alien space craft was hovering over Alewife station. The store announcer came over the PA and said, "Don't worry, ladies and gentlemen, that's just the sun." We are getting glorious sunshine this morning, but ... for ... how ... long?

Conine

2006-05-15T19:53:00.000-04:00

Conine is using Tom Sawyer for his at bat music this year. As you know, this was Billy Mueller's at bat music last year and I discovered (on 5/27/05) that Tino Martinez started using it a bit last year. That pissed me off a little, but it's a free country I guess. Weird.

2006-05-15T09:37:00.000-04:00

[Update: I just learned that there is a very strong possibility of rain in Baltimore tonight. Thunderstorms, in fact. If the game is cancelled, I wasted 5 minutes Photoshopping.]

2006-05-12T21:32:00.000-04:00

Am I the Only One Who Hates this DD Commercial?

2006-05-11T21:43:00.000-04:00

Swimming.

Soccer.

Ballet.

Oboe.

KaratAAAAAAAAAY!
(Better or worse than Not too close, what, you think I got that insurance? I expect votes!)

Red Sox left bases loaded 3 times tonight. Sweet game. And it's only the 6th inning! Imagine how many more runners we can strand! Oh boy!

Forced Charity

2006-05-11T20:49:00.000-04:00

Well, there's good news and bad news on the laundromat front. And weird news.

Good news: The place I found was bigger, cleaner and MUCH cheaper than the one I've been going to. It's also quiet. The last place blared annoying radio stations which proved rather distracting while trying to read. Also, it's on street parking, but I think if you go during off times, you can find something right outside. Additionally, it's right next to a convenience store and a few sweet eateries, including The Urban Gourmet. If you live in Somerville, this is a must try. Quality grub, excellent service, hip little joint.

Bad News: From the middle of the street (driving by), it appeared that there was a television monitor suspended from the ceiling. Not so. It's actually a big, rectangular vent. I think there's a television in the back room, but there were children in there watching some sort of educational program. What kind of horrible person would I be to ask them to change it?

Weird News: So, I got there and started loading up a couple of washers, and I was feeling pretty happy despite the vent/TV mixup because it was only $1.25 to wash a load and the washers appeared to have greater capacity than my old laundromat. The next thing I knew, this older woman came shuffling over to me. Though she was wearing a pair of crappy slippers and a kind of frumpy skirt, she didn't appear to be disheveled or unkept. She made direct eye contact and without missing a beat, she said, "I need some money to finish" and bent her head in the direction of the dryers on the back wall. I took out my purse and she said, "Five dollars." Now, I consider myself to be a fairly charitable person, but come on! I hadn't even completed the loading of my washers and this lady dragged her slipper feet over to me and not only demanded money, but told me exactly how much I should have given her? I had a total of five bucks on me at the time and though I'm sure her situation wasn't good, I'd be damned if I had to run to the bank machine just to get my laundry started after forking over all the cash I had in hand to her. I agreed to give her 2 bucks so that I could at least start my wash before going out to get more money. Once my quarters were popped in, I settled down to read about "Denise Richards' Side of the Story." After a while, the slippers swished in my direction again. This time (get this) she said, "My clothes are still damp. Two dollars wasn't enough." So, on top of giving her money on demand, I was supposed to feel guilty? She didn't stop there, either. She went on and on about how unfortunate it was that she had to walk home with a bag of wet laundry. I was so mad, I just ignored her and let her walk out in a huff. By the way, I put a mere buck in each dryer and my clothes came out bone dry.

I missed the first 4 innings of the game. I got in the car just in time to hear Castiglione gushing over Damon's great defensive play, robbing The Big Ragu of an off-the-wall hit. My mom called me during my drying cycle to tell me about Matsui's wrist. Tough break for the Yanks if it's broken. I gathered from EEI and NESN commentary that the Sox squandered a lot and that, had it not been for some awesome defensive plays, Chacon would have been a little screwed tonight.

The weather seems to be holding out. And Wake is doing fine, as his bottom of the 5th was a 1-2-3.

Series, Tied

2006-05-11T09:03:00.000-04:00

I saw the last night's pooper with my friend Dan last night. Like a bottle of Coke in the blazing summer sun, it started out promising, but soon went flat. I mentally rinsed the game down the sink around the 8th. I figured, if we couldn't get a rally going by then, our chances of winning were pretty nil. I sometimes think the players feel this way, too. Like they give up in the 9th and start getting a bunch of easily fielded hits as if to say, "Eh, let's just get this over with and go home." I guess I'd rather see that than a strike out with bases loaded and 2 outs. Slightly less frustrating, as the hope fades gradually over the span of 3 easy outs.

Anyway, I look forward to tonight's rubber game. I'm scouting laudromats in Somerville. I'm on the lookout for one with:

A Television (with NESN, of course)

WiFi

A Sushi Bar

A Dunkin Donuts Kiosk

A Fresh Copy of Us Magazine (I admit that I like to read this trashy garbage. While I'm admitting this, I'll tell you that I also read Martha Stewart Living. I find the layout irresistible. The fonts, the photography, the colors. It's like kryptonite to me.)

Sweet Parking

A Tarot Card Reader, or Fortune Teller, like Madame Ruby

A Scanner/Printer

Dryers that work really, really well. The kind that come within a couple of seconds of burning holes in your clothes.

Alright, this is a tall order. I'd be happy with the NESN and exceptional dryers. So, can you guess where I'll be tonight? You know you're in rough shape when you go out and buy underwear because you don't have time to wash it.

I hope the wind works in Wakefield's favor tonight. I also hope that Harris isn't in the line up.

Oh, and Jere and Reb went to the game last night together, in the Bronx. See their respective sites for details!

Dirt Dog is Major Hypocrite

2006-05-10T13:21:00.000-04:00

Dirt Dog actually posted this before last night's game. It was a kind of "call to action" for Sox fans in Yankee Stadium:

Don't Forget to Boo Johnny Damon for Going to the Dark Side!

I thought he wanted everyone to cheer him! I don't get it. Was he being sarcastic? Does he still want people to cheer? What gives?

It's Official

2006-05-09T20:59:00.000-04:00

The Yankees are getting rocked. I waited until we had a good 8 run lead before posting this.

Randy looked horrible tonight. The Torre finger point came early.

And what's up with the Yankee defense? There were at least 2 routine plays that were horrendously butchered. Wowie wow wow.

Needless to say, there's been a lot of hooting and hollering in my living room tonight. And, yeah, I'm here by myself. What of it?

Talk about unflattering action shots:

Yowzers.

Thank You and You and You and You

2006-05-08T12:29:00.000-04:00

First of all, thanks to all the folks who made it out to my humble little show this weekend. I sold 2 pieces and was commissioned to paint 2 more for a lovely young couple in the 'ville. It was a lot of work, but it really paid off, as the event was a success. It was also a little "This Is Your Life." as people I hadn't seen in ages recognized me on the map and stopped by for a visit. Man, I love Somerville.

I missed yesterday's matchup, but caught the post game which served as the proverbial cherry on top to a perfect weekend. I love sweeps. DiNardo really needed that victory - his first in the majors! And Tek obtaining his second career grand slam was simply marvelous (one lucky gal got to see this in person). I feel pretty confident going into this upcoming series with the Yankees and I am truly excited to watch Beckett pitch against Johnson, who boasts a 5-0 record against the Red Sox. The Yankees have also enjoyed a few recent wins (alright, alright, 5 in a row) and both teams will have had a day's rest going into Tuesday's game, so let's just say it's gonna be interesting.

Side note: I do respect Joe Torre a great deal, and the "general baseball fan" in me congratulates him on his 1000th career win. Personally, I think he deserves higher honors for tolerating Steinbrenner all this time, but that's just me.

Enjoy the night off, everyone!

P.S. Every mid-pitch action shot cracks me up. Like this one of DiNardo:

I'm going to create a silly post about these sometime soon.

Now You See It, Now You Don't

2006-05-06T19:49:00.000-04:00

Mike Lowell is an interesting guy.

Apart from looking an awful lot like Todd Walker, he also appears to have a great deal of success with this wacky stuff. I wonder if we'll see him try any of this abracadabra with the Red Sox. Another fact: Lowell was born in Puerto Rico, but is actually of Cuban decent (both parents). The surname "Lowell" is British in origin.

6-1, Red Sox (bottom of the 3rd). Trot got two nice hits off of left-handed pitcher, Bedard. Mirabelli knocked the crap out of the ball and drove in a run. The key here is that Mirabelli is supposed to hit south paws well. I'm just sayin'. Oh, but Bedard was just yanked in favor of the right handed Manon. And he just walked Gonzales to load them up.

S.O.S.

2006-05-05T13:48:00.000-04:00

If you are planning to swing by my site at the Somerville Open Studios this weekend, I just wanted to let you know that the address they have me listed at on the web site contradicts where I will actually be. I am going to be at 90 Union Square (site #76) in Somerville (in the SCAT building). The event runs on Saturday and Sunday, 12-6. Hope to see you there!

Sweet win last night, by the way.

Uh ... I'm mentioning "Charlie," no, wait, I screwed that up ...

2006-05-04T18:16:00.000-04:00

I always hear commercials that advertise their services or products and follow up the pitch with something like "Mention my name and take an extra 10% off!"or "Say [insert ridiculous word] and save 5 bucks!" My favorite is when they instruct you, the potential customer, to "Tell 'em [so and so] sent ya!" This is such a sneaky little marketing trick. How do you parlay your conversation with a saleperson, a total stranger, into "Crazy Al sent me" or "Twizzlesticks!" I mean, I can honestly tell you that I have never in my life saved money by repeating one of these silly lines. The humiliation factor is just way too high. It's so awkward for a normal, rational human being to just come out with this in the midst of a transaction. These companies must know that. They end up looking like great people who can't wait to help you save a little dough because they know that the vast majority of their market base would feel foolish bringing up the nonsense phrase or whatever. When those brave enough to actually capitalize on the discount call, I wonder if the companies get any of it on tape and have a good laugh over it since (a) the phrase is stupid and (b) there's the added bonus of the poor person's bashfulness in bringing it up.

Frustrating X 2

2006-05-04T11:49:00.000-04:00

Crap ending last night. It was a tit-for-tat game that just ended with B.J. Ryan's crazy closing performance. I'm actually starting to fear the Jays. B. J. Ryan isn't as intimidating-looking as their old closer (nicknamed "The Crotch" by Moe and me), but there's no denying he's got skills. Halliday didn't look very good last night, but neither did Beckett. I've also become desensitized to Foulke's relief work. I've gone from "cringe" to "Offerman is up, time to take a pee break." In other words, my expectations are relatively low. As stated previously, Wily Mo had a good game. And so did Mike Lowell. Truly.

The loss frustrated me on top of the anger I was already feeling due to mat cutting. I'm officially engaged in last-minute preparations for the upcoming show I am participating in and I have 4 large pieces that necessitated mats. My right index finger is bruised from pushing a seemingly dull xacto knife through the impossible boards. My first mat was a poor miscalculation - which nearly resulted in tears. I kid you not. Cutting mats is higher on my "list of least favorite things to do" than moving. I always seem to wipe the agony out of my memory. For whenever I got to the art supply store for mats, I sort of ignore the voice that says: Kim, maybe you ought to buy some snazzy new mat cutting tools. Nope. I've got to do things the hard way. I've got to work myself up into a completely preventable frenzy.

Yes, I'm a Nerd. Yes, I Like Rush.

2006-05-03T21:23:00.000-04:00

Dunkin Donuts musical montage - Distand Early Warning by Rush. Nice job.

Also, Pena is totally stepping up. He's playing center pretty well, too. See? I admit it when I see it. My hat = tipped.

The Doug Deal

2006-05-03T16:47:00.000-04:00

(A couple of days late, I admit)

Some people are questioning whether or not it was, in fact, a well thought through move or a "knee jerk" reaction to bring Doug back. To appease the fans. Well, this fan is totally psyched. I love the guy, even though I hear that he can be a little lippy with his managers. He knows how to handle the knuckeball and he has been known to crush left handed pitching (which we seem to be up against a lot this year between the Jays and the Orioles - I've counted 9 total, including the dreaded Lily). Some argue that Theo didn't give Bard a fair shot at learning how to catch Wake and that Bard had the advantage of youth. Valid point, I must say. Evan at Firebrand even eluded to the message that this sends out to others - If you don't perform right away, your ass is getting shipped right out of town (paraphrased by me). Also valid. Actually, this is more valid to me that the youth argument.

I'm not Theo and I sometimes disagree with some of his moves, so I was interested in hearing his reaction in this one:

''It was sort of an ongoing evaluation process," Epstein said. ''How long was it going to take Josh to get up to a certain level? What's the acquisition cost of Mirabelli? What are our other options? We were assessing all the variables that seemed to make sense. The acquisition cost was pretty reasonable. We were at a point where it was getting into the season enough where we thought it was time to do something."

He also made reference to competition (translation = Yankees being interested) influencing the decision. This sort of surprises me because front office appeared to be rather cool during the so-called Damon negotiation process, knowing full well that NY was vying for him. At the end of the day, I think it was one of those low financial risk situations where Theo could address an immediate need at a relatively low cost (Bard, Cla Meredith, and either $100,000 or a player to be named). To appease the fans? I seriously doubt that Theo considers the fans very much, as evidenced by the Arroyo deal. It was a common sense decision in which "[Theo + Co.] were assessing all the variables that seemed to make sense."

I hope Doug delivers offensively this year. It would be nice to see him make some powerful contributions. But no stolen base attempts!

Warning: More Johnny Damon Stuff (Don't Read if You're Sick of It)

2006-05-02T10:01:00.000-04:00

I've been reading a lot in the papers and hearing a lot on the radio about the great debate over booing and cheering. Even this morning, the day after Johnny's chilly reception. I never really thought that this necessitated so much planning. To me, it's a no-brainer. You're a Yankee now, you get a boo. Since when did we start making all sorts of exceptions?

I would have preferred the silent treatment, or maybe the 180 stance, where everyone just gets up and turns backwards. But, it was totally impractical, I know.

Johnny, if baseball is such a "business," why are you expecting adoration? You want us to turn off the "business" aspect of it when it comes to loving you, but turn it back on again when we think of your motivation to leave us? You chose money over love. You chose the enemy. We made none of these choices for you. Some of us sat back and mentally pleaded with the fates during your short-lived free agency, hoping and praying that an agreement would be reached with our club. But, then the unthinkable happened. And for me, it felt like a huge fucking smack upside my head. You drew blood, and then, in the off season, you insulted me with your crocodile tears and poured salt on the wound with all of your smack talk in New York. And now you want me to come to the park with a bouquet of flowers in one hand and Godiva fucking chocolates in the other?

You want us to believe that the Sox weren't showing you any respect because they weren't wooing you and rolling out the red carpet while digging deep into their pockets and begging you with fistfuls of dollars and lint. Do you honestly think that Steinbrenner was that obsessed with you and ordered his cronies to pull out all the stops to sign you? Truth be told, Steinbrenner can throw more money your way because he has more money to throw. He's got waste money in his reserve so that he's protected if your shoulder gives or you don't deliver as expected. The Sox don't have this luxury. And they gave you a handsome deal anyway. On top of it, your jackass agent didn't give the Sox an opportunity to counteroffer. So, basically, all the doors were slammed shut and you went ahead and took the Yankee deal (1) for the cash and (2) for spite. Because big important Johnny Damon was not fussed over by a front office that was trying to keep its head above water in the absence of a general manager.

I know why you're so hurt over this. It's a classic case of being sore when things don't go your way. Sort of like the way I reacted to your signing with them. One of the main differences, though, is I am not rich and therefore, I am used to not getting my way a lot. You live in a fantasy land of muscles and boobs and expensive cars and puppies and kittens and little birdies. I guess you'll have to be a man now, Johnny, and deal with the scorn of the people who once loved you.

Papi Delivers Big

2006-05-01T22:10:00.000-04:00

Q the Vincent Price endless laughter.

Yay

2006-05-01T21:55:00.000-04:00

Tanyon Sturtze - the stupidest name in all of baseball - has taken the mound for the Yankees.

And we capitalize on that shit. Red Sox lead 4-3. Papelbon will come in next. Sa-weet.

What? No Bonnet?

2006-05-01T20:15:00.000-04:00

And what's the deal with Hazel Mae's outfit? Is it Easter or something? All pink and bows? It's a sports network! Let's get with the program! Put the basket down and wear something decent.

Yanks just tied it up. God, I hate them.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

2006-05-01T19:11:00.001-04:00

Mirabelli ducked out of a state trooper's vehicle (his escort) and jogged into the park in his uniform. I am so amused by that. What a lucky cop, by the way.

Orsillo giggled when he said, "They've changed the chant from Yankees 'aren't very good' to Johnny's 'not very good.'" You know, because Don can't say "suck" on television.

Johnny tried to tip his hat and I just felt bad for him. My God, Johnny, what the fuck are you thinking? Talk about asking for it. Why didn't you just go to the plate and concentrate on hitting? You only made it harder on yourself there. Any other team, Johnny, and you'd still get the love. Any other team! (Wow, the fans actually threw some money down on center field. Seems like an obvious gag, but I didn't even think of that. Good one, bleacher people.) I mean, really, Johnny, you tried to give us some sob story about how Red Sox front office didn't care about you, but the fact is WE DID. WE DID. You made your bed, brother. Johnny whining about getting booed would be like Affleck bitching about the paparazzi. Where there is ying, there is also yang. Remember, Johnny, a lot of the people booing you are going to go back to their one bedroom apartments and continue to live paycheck to paycheck. You get to go to your luxurious hotel or whatever and get a 90 minute massage.

Remy is suddenly the human boo-o-meter. More than once, he offered his opinion as to whether or not there were more boos than cheers. "Definitely more booing" was his final word.

Nice off the end of the bat hit by Papi. Wang has walked 3 batters so far and it's still the 1st inning with 1 out. Whoops, 2 outs. Cairo did the right thing there with the force out. Eh, gotta give "I Can't Believe Manny Robbed Me of a Home Run" some credit on that decision.

Bases loaded and ... Wily Mo, Wily Mo, Wily Mo please get on base. It's all you, Wily Mo. 3-1. Good, good. Ah, crap. At least he hit the ball well and Bubba had to seriously dive to catch it. It wasn't a strike out.

More mindless commentary later. I cannot sit still during these games. They make me nuts.

You Dipped. Then, You Dipped Again.

2006-05-01T15:16:00.000-04:00

Now that we are on the subject of the Red Sox Double Dip (when a Red Sox player or critical figure goes elsewhere only to come back again), I've been putting more thought into the whole Clemens possibility.

I guess I am trying to prepare for it, because, like it or not, Roger may be pitching for the Red Sox in June of this year. It's still anyone's guess, I suppose, but stranger things have happened and front office is "all in" on this one, pushing Nipper out on the poker table along with their chips. Although I joked about Doug's return being a joint effort with the marketing department, I think that where Clemens is concerned, marketing has a very clear and distinct role. Even if (huge if, by the way) everything is sealed and it's just a matter of ripping off a few calendar sheets for it to be realized, I am sure that the entire Red Sox machine is sitting on this egg together, waiting for the perfect hatching moment. They know that everyone has a stake in this. NESN, WEEI, ESPN, The Boston Globe (in other words, the NY Times), The Boston Herald, the fans, the evil Dirt Dog, Dunkin Donuts, Bernie and Phyl's, Sports Illustrated - geez, the list is endless, as this could potentially be one of the most powerful stories to break in recent sports history.

Still, I wish he had retired seasons ago. I don't like Clemens and I am offended that the bozo has become part of the WS clinching equation for contending teams. My team, being one. This creates quite a dilemma for me. My morals or my team? Let me illustrate my point. My coworker, Tom, told me about this stock called Vicex today. It's performs exceedingly well, especially when the country has fallen on tougher times. Why? Because it's the tobacco/alcohol/gambling/nuclear arms stock. Tom knows that if he invested in this stock, he'd make some serious cash, but he won't do it for the obvious reason. I see Clemens as Vicex. If I invest in him, I have to somehow put all of the things that I hate about him out of my brain and I don't think I can do it. He crossed the line the day he kissed the Babe Ruth statue outside of Yankee Stadium right before a playoff game against us. Nothing says, "I hate the Red Sox" more than this act and he committed it.

On the other hand, if it comes down to 2 teams for Clemens, and those 2 teams are the Red Sox and the Yankees, I will have to hope that we reacquire him. I won't have a choice. If the Yankees reacquire him, they stand to gain more than just an "edge," especially if we are still forced to use DiNardo in our starting rotation (and that assumes that our remaining staff stays healthy all year long).

I guess, if I can make it about the 2 teams rather than the man himself, it will be easier for me to accept. By rooting for Roger to come to the Red Sox over the Yankees, I am rooting against Steinbrenner. I need to focus on this, especially if Theo gets his wish.

Speaking of rooting against Steinbrenner, the game begins in less than 4 hours. The first Red Sox/Yankees game of the season. Holy crap, I can't wait.

Classic Catcher

2006-05-01T12:48:00.000-04:00

My friend Ilene just wrote this in an email to me. Hilarious.

the freakin red sox. they're like the coke marketing people. look... we've brought you new coke. oh, you don't like that. then here, we're bringing back the old coke, but now it's classic coke. we're your heroes!

The Big Ragu

2006-05-01T12:07:00.000-04:00

I am so thrilled that Doug Mirabelli is coming home. What a way to put a little spring in our step tonight! Sometimes I think that front office works with the marketing department to deliver things like this during high drama baseball times. Bard is probably relieved to go to the Padres. It's got to be a tremendous amount of pressure to (a) catch the knuckle ball and (b) do it in Boston, where patience is as thin as Natural Lite in a keg. I hear that we were able to hand off ole Cla Meredith, too. Good riddens.

Another twinge of irony: Johnny Damon is always citing the Red Sox for dismanteling the team and talking about how much he loves playing for a club that is dedicated to retaining its players. So, how funny is it that Mirabelli is catching tonight?

[Update: You know, I was thinking - this is one of those things that you sit around wishing would happen, but then reality kicks in and you say to yourself: Nah! Think about it, though. The boomerang factor is pretty high with the Red Sox these days:

1. Theo left, Theo came back.
2. Doug left, Doug came back.

Red Rover, Red Rover, send Pedro right over! That's my next wish. Shooting for the moon while the universe is feeling generous. Hmmmm ... who could we give the Mets?]

The New Style

2006-04-28T13:00:00.000-04:00

There's been some talk of Johnny Damon's return (to Fenway wearing pinstripes) over here. To that end, I just signed this.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that silence is more powerful and satisfying than booing. Think about it:

It's only done when honoring a dead person or persons.
It can be bone chilling.
It would be unexpected.
So much can be read into it, thus giving it head-scratching potential.
It's easy.
No one can accuse the Red Sox fans of being bitter and immature, as you know the NY papers are chomping at the bit to do.

Booing, while very tempting, is obvious. I think it has its place later on down the line (Why should he be treated differently than any other Yankee, since that's what he now is? If he were a different kind of Yankee, shouldn't he wear a different kind of uniform?). Repeated silence through every at bat in the 1st game would be the most appropriate response, I think.

(I know that this strategy has been going around for a while, and I did give it some initial thought when I first heard about it. I've just recently started the official switch to this strategy, but only for the first game.)

Turn the Page

2006-04-28T08:52:00.000-04:00

Alright, today's a totally new day. We're playing a totally new (meaning - not the team we played yesterday) team. Let's hope for a totally different outcome.

Have you seen Fossum's player pic? Huge beard:

I must admit that it makes him look a little older, which I'm sure was the goal. He's still a little too slight, though. I think I''m going to send him a couple dozen Krispy Kremes.

Bobby's Favorite Player

2006-04-27T19:50:00.000-04:00

Do any of you get the feeling that there's some little kid Cleveland fan in the hospital and this game is for him?

Ouch

2006-04-27T19:30:00.000-04:00

That salami hurt. One strike away from ending the inning, Beckett walked a batter, only to bring up Broussard who put 4 runs on the board for Cleveland in the bat of a lash. Not a good start. And now with Youk's "no foot on the bag" call (I saw the replay and he had the foot on) - oy. It's just the 1st inning.

The cat just pooped in the litter box. Fitting.

Movin' On Up

2006-04-27T12:10:00.000-04:00

Hansen's moved from Portland to Pawtucket:

The 22-year-old Hansen has been dominant for the Sea Dogs, going 1-0 with a 0.82 ERA in 5 games for Portland to begin his first full year in pro ball since being selected by the Red Sox in the first round of the 2005 draft.

He's got one freakish mug:

You know, when I think AAA, I automatically think "lower tier." Because it's 3 As instead of 2. Double A should be switched with triple A. Maybe this is because triple A batteries are smaller - I am unintentionally applying this logic to the minor league system.

Also, I just had an Amy's frozen lunch, which always leaves me in awe of her culinary skills. Oh, Amy, how can you make a Shepherd's Pie that tastes marvelous and yields a mere 160 calories? She's a miracle worker. Either that, or the caloric information is false - like that episode of Seinfled with the "non fat" frozen yogurt.

Local Yokel

2006-04-26T21:40:00.000-04:00

Delcarmen has a good curve ball. And good hair. I'm really pulling for him this year.

Horrible defense tonight. Just horrible. I feel like we're asleep at the wheel. Nixon just sort of messed up 2 hits. He really should have made both of those catches (bottom 7th). Our real issue this game was not capitalizing on the bases loaded situation in, what, the 2nd? Right where Papi struck out to end the inning. Okay, and Bard is sucking ass, too (as previously noted).

The new Foxwoods commercial isn't helping. The Wizard of Oz one with the Foxwoods dude caught "behind the curtain" singing the tail end of the infamously annoying jingle. Awful.

Oops-a-Daisy

2006-04-26T20:34:00.000-04:00

Do you think that Wakefield is missing Dougie Fresh tonight? I'm sure Bard's going to get the hang of things sooner or later, but it's cringe time until then. Wicked cringe, as we say here in the 02145.

Sweet homer by Wily Mo, incidentally.

No Decision

2006-04-26T08:42:00.000-04:00

Good news in Witch City land (which is actually Somerville, as you know) - I just secured a 2-bedroom apartment 3 doors down for September 1. I can finally get out of my cramped (albeit cozy) studio and into something more ... human. My cat will be psyched, I can assure you. Also, the landlord is totally down with pets and was fine with me getting another cat (I've been wanting to do this for a while). Furthermore, my friend will be living 1 floor below with her dog and cat, so we can have regular pet-togethers (yeah, that's pretty corny and bad). To summarize - good news, got bigger place, cats happy.

Sweet game last night. Schilling's pitch count was pretty high. The highest Red Sox pitch count since '01 (Pedro = 136). I hope it doesn't affect him in the shoulder-cuff-ankle-whathaveyou. Incidentally, I'd love to apply the phrase "no decision" to something in my everyday life.