Something's Brewing at Fenway

In an unprecedented move, Theo Epstein has traded himself to the Milwaukee Brewers in exchange for infielder Jeff Cirillo, adding another level of insurance at 3rd base. "His career batting average is .306. He'll mainly be used as a backup 3rd baseman, but Cirillo can DH or play any defensive infield position. His power and versatility really tip the scales in the Sox's favor going into the '06 season. This is the edge that we were hoping for," Theo humbly told reporters today.

"He's been toying around with the idea of trading concession employees with other clubs, even parking attendants. And some of the proposed trades would have really improved the organization as a whole. But, this! This was a stroke of pure genius!" Lucchino said of Theo's latest move. Owner John Henry was not available for comment.