Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Why Waste Valuable Time & Energy?

Baseball farts right now. To the point of ridiculousness. As this is the case, I've decided to channel my fandom into the silliest, craziest, most irrelevant Red Sox commentary I know how from here on out. Fuck you, Red Sox. You wanna use the major leagues as some kind of screwed up experimental ground for young talent? You want to mutate these poor eggs before they're hatched? Well, this Sox fan isn't going to take your mad scientist bullshit anymore.

Seriously, why should any journalist, any blogger for that matter, take time to craft an objective article or post for a franchise that isn't really all that concerned about winning? I say, fuck 'em. I ain't wasting my time talking about the "positives" and the "negatives" anymore.

When this team is supposedly "built" to the satisfaction of Front Office, call me. When will that be (says Chuck from Chuck's Bike-O-Rama), a long time we wait. Well, I don't have any plans to change my number for the next couple of seasons. I can wait.

In the meantime, let's discuss some other matters. Paint drying, for example. Riveting:

Water boiling, equally as interesting when you compare it with, say, what's happening to the Red Sox right now.

Stay tuned for more exciting topics!

[Update: I just read Empy's post dated August 21st, and woah! I thought I was the only one saying Fuck You to the Red Sox. Actually, her post is so uncharacteristically Empy, I nearly fell off my chair. But, I can't say that it didn't capture the emotion of the day.]


At 7:26 PM, Blogger Michael Leggett said...

Flatulence & lighting a match, while one is on the porcelein seat:

Explosive & has more action than the Red Sox!

At 11:00 PM, Blogger 01245 said...

Yes, Michael, very true. Farts are more exciting than Red Sox baseball right now. They are teasing us with the 4 run lead tonight.

At 3:16 PM, Blogger Jere said...

Joy of Sox also did what Empy did. You have to scroll down to the post called "Rant." Then read the comments. The first is his. It's long.

I was glad I took the time to write objectively about the Sox all summer long in '04 (when they were much further back in the division than they are now). And people then said, "Yeah, they may have a chance as a Wild Card, but they're just not the '03 team, come on, get serious."

I think of it this way: The Pirates and those other teams that just don't have a chance, they all stink right now and they're way out of the race. We stink right now, but are a few games out of the playoffs. So we've got that goin' for us, and--supposedly--a bright future ahead if these young'ns ever start actually doing good.

I still don't blame anyone for saying all these things about the Sox, because they're all true, and when Empy does it's funny, and I can relate because nobody's more frustrated with this team than I am.

At 3:42 PM, Blogger 01245 said...

Well, I guess you are just a better person than I am, Jere. I am pretty ripping mad at this team at the moment and I am not going to lighten up any because of 1 lousy win.

And I hate to say it, but this team pales in comparison to the '03 and '04 teams. No Pedro, no Lowe (who could at least pitch in big games), no O-Cab, no Damon, no Mueller. And I don't think we can expect Wakefield any time soon. His rib is still hurting. Jason and Trot won't be back until early-mid September, which gives us plenty of opportunity to slide into 3rd place. Yes, I am being negative. And I'm not apologizing for it. Theo has given me nothing to get excited about, so I'm not going to sit around pretending that even HE thinks we have a shot at the wild card. Because all he's doing is thinking about how great our 2015 team is going to be. We don't want to mortgage away the future!

At 4:31 PM, Blogger Jere said...

I would've said the same thing if they'd lost last night. It's not that.

And I am pissed at them, too. We all know how I feel about their decision to trade Arroyo. I feel like they were throwing this year away by doing that, and by doing other things, like not trading at the deadline. But they don't want to lose, they want to make sure there's a chance to win down the line.

Besides, the players are the ones who actually play, and they can't control when they're called up, who they're traded for, etc. And I believe those guys, except for Tavarez (I'm not totally insane) can win games. A lot more regularly than they have been.

At 4:36 PM, Blogger Michael Leggett said...

Flatulent Pronouncements from the FO:


At 4:41 PM, Blogger Jere said...

And your Value Over Replacement Human is 5.4 to my 4.9, so you're a slightly better person than me. But I've got potential!


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