Sunday, January 08, 2006

Manny to Stay or Go? Madame Ruby Weighs In

I had an interesting night. I decided to try a reliable alternative to the internet for Red Sox news. I consulted with Madame Ruby, specifically to for a Manny Ramirez prediction. Here is a transcript from my visit.

Me: Hello, Madame Ruby. I'm happy to see that you haven't changed your psychic studio since the 80's. It's quite charming.

Madame Ruby: Thank you, Witch City Sox Girl. Everything is the same, except my prices. For fifty dollars I can tell you a lot of things. For seventy-five I can tell you more. And for a hundred bucks, I can tell you everything.

I just got a bonus at work for the holidays, so I decided to go with the whole enchilada. Why not? It's totally selfless, after all. This is for you people.

Madame Ruby switched on the crystal ball and I sat mesmerized in front of her. She is a vision. Truly. She represents well in person.

Madame Ruby: Now let's see, what Madame Ruby sees! (Classic. Can you believe it? I guess this is her shtick.) I seeeee ... Manny ...

Me: Is he okay?

Madame Ruby: He's okay, he's okay!

Me: Where is he? In the middle of the 2006 season?

Madame Ruby: Where is, where is? (She looked about the room, then straight into my eyes.) Mike's Pastry! (More looking around, then she whispered:) In the ..... north end!

Me: I'll never forget you!

So, either Manny will be spending a lot of time eating pastries at Mike's, or maybe he'll buy the joint. Either way, he's here to stay for a while.


At 9:24 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mike's pastry, huh? Now I guess we know where Simone's big butt comes from.

At 10:32 AM, Blogger Peter N said...

Is that all Madame Ruby had for that much money? She might be overpriced, just a little. And she might read the sports pages judging from that prediction. But I hope she's right and our Manny is batting fourth in '06. So does Big Papi.


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