Friday, December 02, 2005

College Station Agony

I enjoy the unpredictability and often eccentric music selections of college radio. "The Coffehouse" (Emerson) and "Breakfast of Champions" (MIT) are both really fine weekday programs and good alternatives to the same old-same old. Why, then, do the DJs have to be so boring and mundane? Wouldn't you guess that most of them are aspiring professional DJs? Should they not be trying even harder than those gainfully employed by the Infinity/Clearwater type stations? Is there some set of rules that these students have to follow (underlying message being: do not reveal a personality)?

1. DON'T have an opinion.
2. DO try to be as monotone as possible.
3. DO read every detail about a song to the listener. Include the liner notes, if at all possible.
4. Men: Do your best Ira Glass impersonation (NPR, This American Life)
5. When in doubt, be pretentious.
6. DO apologize for every sniffle and cough and yawn.
7. Women: Try not to sound your age. Listeners will appreciate a higher pitched "baby girl" voice.
8. DO drag words out and insert lots of unnecessary pauses. Ex: You have been listening tooooooo Miles [pause] Davis from his [long pause] Kind of Bluuuuue release from the Sony Recordsssssss label.

How about an occasional joke? One that isn't pompous?


At 3:51 PM, Anonymous Steve said...

Have you tried listening to the indie 103.1 on the internet? (I realize that today's blog pertained more to you driving in your car...) but, I do have to recommend 2 shows to you that you could probably catch at work...
'The Mighty Morning Show' with Dicky Barrett. 10am - 1pm EST. and 'Joneses Jukebox' with Steve Jones (formally of the sex pistols) 3pm - 5pm EST. Go to '' You could catch Jonesey right now!...

At 5:49 PM, Blogger Jere said...

The worst is when they say, "Now we're gonna listen toooooooo...track number six..." and then they say the song. It's like, I know you need to know what track it is so you can cue up the correct tune, but none of us need to know which track number it is on the cd. But, of course, thery're really just trying to fill space while they get the song ready.

At 10:19 AM, Blogger 01245 said...

Thanks, Steve, for the recommedations. I am a true fan of Dicky, as well as the Pistols, so I'll check them out.

Jere - I KNOW!

At 1:30 PM, Blogger Chunky Tuna said...

Oh, please. Have you ever DJ'd. Speaking for all college DJ's everywhere, stop making dumb generalizations. Do you know what it is like to spend 4 - 8 hours preparing for your show, pulling music, working as your own engineer, preparing and mic'ing guests, answering endless calls and fulling your FCC obligations? Try it some time. Filling space while the the song cues up? You have up to 6 discs or carts cue'd up and transition into each. In the cases of Jazz or Folk genres, callers call constantly to get info on the music, hence the intro. Look, just keep it on your top-40 station and leave the poor college DJ-slobs alone.

At 2:14 PM, Blogger 01245 said...

Tuna Dude - From your description, it sounds like it totally bites. Why, then, does one do it?

At 6:48 AM, Blogger Chunky Tuna said...

Because those 4 - 6 hour shifts where you get to talk to an audience of 100m to 1mm playing shit that you truly love and value is pure ecstasy, man.


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